Today I let go of my soulmate from the old paradigm . I let go of him, after thirty two years of feeling that heart connection. I let go in gratitude, love in grace. Many people think a soulmate is all romance. I say nonsense!
I will share some of the experience for others and also for myself to let the ribbons of energy flow away, into the past where they belong. I know when our souls are done here we will see each other again and laugh.
Thirty two years ago I was praying for help. For guidance. I was married, with two young children. My husband and I were in a toxic codependent relationship. I am not throwing stones just owning what was between us. Although we had accumulated cars, boats, and a spa. With a custom home, my life felt spiritually empty. I do remember saying I envied others who had such passionate beliefs about god. I didn’t want to follow religion, I had been brought up very catholic and was sent away to catholic school from age seven to age fourteen. All of that was not for me. I was seeking basic truths that have lasted millions of years. Foundational truths to build my life upon. I also craved the feeling of being loved for who I really was. Not the mask I wore for the world as a confident wife and mother. Part of a social community and a leader in my own way of the small story of my life.
Sometimes sacrifice is asked from me to move through another gateway. I Gave up my whole life that I knew, to step forward into the unknown. The long and short story is private to him and I. It was not a love affair. But a deep soul connection felt the moment we met. We created a bubble of time and space and could instantly connect. Long distance psychically. I would think someone please help me with what I am going through. He would just show up. He always showed up. His strength helped me through my hell. We helped each other out of hell. I asked him to never leave me alone. Yet I didn’t want to project my karma on him ever. I ran away out of fear and the intensity of the energy. I wanted to create stability for my two children and to get healthy. We continued our lives making our own separate choices. No matter how wide the divide between us we could connect in a moment. Some months, or years would go by. But if I reached out he always found a way to connect. We do love each other and have a divine love which crosses all realms. So fast forward thirty two years. I have had the blessing in my life knowing there was another soul out there who loved me. Thick and thin old or young none of it mattered. For either of us. We shared Divine love. It really doesn’t matter if anyone believes me. It is a blessing which has had many ripples that went out into the world.
Yesterday we talked for hours as we do about everything. He may be choosing to leave here. I needed to let him know he is never alone. We are as different as black and white. And yet I know his soul and although he has chosen many ways opposite of what I would choose that has led him into great pain. I have chosen my spirit over everything most of the time. I am no angel. Trust me on that. I work with the angelic realm though and they have been a great comfort during difficult times of making choices.
Yesterday I visited him in his hell. What is hell? A Place where we cannot forgive ourselves for choices we have made. For others we may have hurt, along our journey. I know in my heart he can walk out at any time and turn his life into his heaven. I also know I cannot drag him there. Divine love pours down on us all. Some hold up a thimble, some hold umbrellas in fear of the light pouring down. Some dance in this light allowing it’s life giving love to heal, bless and lead the way into this new beginning. I let go today of the blessing of the past with grace, and step through this gateway of my heart with no promises or another to hold my hand. We each walk alone with faith through out gateways.
Free choice of what we desire. I desire to serve the greater good of mankind. I choose to step into this new paradigm. I am grateful for the darkness and pain I have experienced. Now I deeply appreciate the light and fresh new beginnings we can all have. Each of us must choose and walk alone through this gateway of the heart. I have no idea nor can I see the future at this time. I am walking on a bridge between past and future with faith in Divine to catch me if I stumble. Faith that we can each do this if called to do so. Faith that we are always taken care of. Faith that I am worthy of having an abundant, loving life, better than I can picture for myself. So much grander, so much more. I trust my soul to take one step closer to be of service to all of mankind. Let my heart radiate divine love like a lighthouse beacon bringing others safely home.
Free will to step forward and trust I will be provided for. I choose to create the change I desire to see in the world. Serving the greater good of all of us. Sharing All of who I am with who ever needs light to help them on their own personal journey. Thank you for allowing me to share a small fraction of my journey. May it be helpful to another soul out there reaching for the light. I take one step closer to alignment with my soul. Namaste
I have always worked with Angels. Through my life as an empath the journey has been a scenic drive getting from point to point. No freeways, only winding roads and never knowing where I am most days. I can see clearly for others but not for myself. When I was alone as a child angels sat with me. When my mother transitioned at age Thirteen my angels were there to walk with me pouring strength and love for me to keep going. When I was abused they were there loving me. When I danced on the beach and at golden gate park panhandle in the 60’s they danced with me. Gentle loving, never judging. When I cried and laughed they were there. Through a difficult marriage they brought joy into my life through my children, and friends.
Sometimes Angels come through animals. The cat or dog who loves us unconditionally. When I had my heart attack two dolphins swam by me in the ocean. The doctor had said where I had the heart attack was called the widow maker. You rarely live through them. I like to believe the dolphins helped me vibrationally. Sometimes they come through people in kindness. I was flying home after I had the heart attack. To qualify, I didn’t know I had one. The doctors said I should have died because of the altitude. But the kindest man took the seat next to me, bought me a soda and we watched videos about Hawaii, all the while laughing and sharing stories about what we had in common.
There are also soul reflections. People who come into our life who are like soul mirrors for us. I have been blessed to have three to date. That has been a full spiritual mirror. These always have a spiritual gift within the friendship. Many times I have had spiritual friendships where I can see a partial reflection and continue to work on myself.
But Oh the sweetness of those precious full spiritual reflections. These Souls are a true yin and yang of balance. It has been my experience that My soul expands and grows through these times. I feel the wings of angels embracing me as I write. Angels are messengers of light, we just have to ask for help and it is answered. Rarely in the limited way we perceive but in an expanded better experience if we are open to it. So much more, better than I ever pictured for myself.
Each day I get one step closer to home. I am grateful for the experiences. Life is so rich in it’s experiences. Embrace it, cherish it. A gift of experience of so much more than we could picture for ourselves. It’s like a flower unfolding, getting more beautiful and fuller as it opens. Let the fragrance envelop you and take you into the richness.
The journey continues as I walk within and align with my soul. I wake after only a few hours of sleep. Bloody hell, I had such a great day of sun, & nature to nurture myself . Now my mind races like ghostly horses with the bit in their mouth. The tangled thoughts and feelings escape Pandora's box within my heart. Oh great! My past loves, I do meditation with a sincere inventory,and tears flow. I realize I need to once again make amends with someone from my past. But I desire to stay mindful, I ask why? What are my intentions behind it? You should know I am a Codependent in recovery for 30 years. I won’t go into the past because it has led me to now. The ghostly horses racing through my head whisper to me. Listen! Feel your fears. More tears flow. I decided to not contact them directly. But to send sincere amends from my heart. I didn’t know what I didn’t know then. The more I know , the less I know. Then I forgave myself for acting from fear. I did love you, I still do and always will. I share these thoughts and feelings as a way of slowing these ghostly horses down to a walk. As I pet them, their beautiful bodies relax. I whisper rest now, rest now. I love you. I Have always loved you since the beginning of time. I embrace them. They slowly dissipated like a mist swirling around me. My heart opens just a little bit more. Oh yes, I remember sometimes it can get lonely on my stardust pathway home. One can feel lonely even when surrounded by Angels you know. Listen, in the quiet solitude within, in the distance you can hear the music from the spheres. Won’t you dance with me along the way?
As an Empath seeing myself has always been a challenge. I have found the world around me serves as a moment to moment reflection of my personal vibrational essence. Over analyzing
can cause me to spiral out of control within my mind. Through this journey some souls have been difficult for me to embrace. The judgement or speck in their eye is but a reflection of my own. By surrendering it to my Soul. To embrace my darkness gently with LOVE and allow it to transform within my heart.
We truly are all connected on a Divine scale. Sometimes it is difficult to hold that perspective. It can be uncomfortable. But for myself, being uncomfortable is a great place to stretch and grow spiritually. I am Singing My Soul Song now.
As I sit here in the sun this morning having coffee, I am reminded it was not long ago that my view from my back door felt scary, and in a survival mode. Even though I knew there was something better. The only way for me to get to a higher place was through the gateway of my heart. Which terrified me then. I felt if I worked hard and went to battle with my inner darkness I could get through that gateway. But my fears kept the gate locked tight. I was exhausted and felt defeated. Then I tried to surrender completely. My Fears of not feeling good enough, rejection, judgement, and worst not having my love returned. It was a “pandora's box” of fear locked up tight in my heart. Every time I would take a chance and unlock it all the fears would fly out. I would get terrified to my core and run away after locking them away deep inside again. Afraid to let anyone see how vulnerable I felt. The lie! “If they saw I was vulnerable they would hurt me.”
I have been unpacking my Pandora's box one fear at a time. I am Gently, loving each one taking them out into the Divine light to be transformed into bubbles of love.
One of the gifts in life is free will. Opportunities present themselves in each moment. I chose to embrace a moment this moment shared in writing with another heart out there. My journey is to connect heart to heart with other souls and love, simply love. This is My Soul Song and I will share the journey with you as it unfolds for me.
My gift to myself is to LOVE myself enough to walk through the gate of my heart to help create a happier, more loving world here and now. Namaste
I am Mary Christine, My spiritual journey has led me here kicking and screaming most of the way to this present moment. I desire to be the change in the world I want to see. I am walking away from the old paradigm and stepping through the gateway of my heart into the New. I am not sure where this is going but I trust the alignment with my soul to get me there. Every Step of my journey has led me to this jump off point. I embrace all of it. I choose to jump into this new world with an open heart filled with love. Follow my journey, if you choose. From My Heart to Yours!